Northern Loudmouth

51 year old Straightedge Strippogram. I write things...enjoy.

Jose Mourinho paints himself as football’s Donald Trump
Despite some laughably optimistic briefings from Ed “Shelly Levene” Woodward, it’s hard to see how Jose Mourinho recovers at Old Trafford after...
A new era for Manchester United is upon us with introduction to Women’s football
And so, with the simple submission of an application, the biggest and wealthiest football club in England, the UK and possibly Europe,...
Opinion: Mourinho was not, is not and never will be, the right man
As a smug, patronising git, there is nothing more I enjoy than to be proven right. Mainly because it gives me a...
The Ballad of Wayne Rooney
And so, its almost over. Wayne Rooney’s 13-year relationship with Manchester United looks set to end with a return to Everton. A...
Smalling and Jones: Two more sufferers of the English disease.
Not to worry folks, Smalling and Jones, more formally known as Messrs Chris “Mike” Smalling and Phil “New Duncan Edwards” Jones haven’t...
Wayne Rooney: A Survivor and record breaker who fell just short of true greatness
Well, he had to get there in the end. Goddammit, if we had to keep playing him until he was fifty years...
Old Trafford’s new warrior-king?
Forgotten among Manchester United’s superstars, one man from Bilbao has been quietly excellent. While Paul Pogba was having perhaps a career-worst match...
The Ballad of David William M***s
It must be sad to be the dourest of dour Scotsman, David M***s. A man once regarded as a serious contender to...
Three things…from Everton vs Manchester United
United’s top four chance has gone. Jose Mourinho may well want to start taking the Europa League much more seriously now as...
Three Things…from United’s hammering of West Ham
United turn back time It remains to be seen whether José Mourinho’s Donald Trump-like approach to football management will continue to be...
Jose Mourinho’s big weekend
Jose Mourinho won’t get sacked if he loses this weekend nor will he get the boot this season, even if things continue...
What’s eating Jose Mourinho?
Jose Mourinho finally has the job he wanted so long. Ever since his first spell in charge of Chelsea, Mourinho cast envious...