Ed Woodward – Have I not got transfer news for you

The Ian Hislop – Ed Woodward

Doppelganger has been noted, and until the Mata coup, it was starting to appear as if United’s vice chairman didn’t have time to squander on negotiations, being indisposed filming the latest series of ‘Have I (Not) Got (Transfer) News For You.’

Now that Woodward’s finally shattered the perception that he can’t pull off a major signing, the United chief is now strutting around Old Trafford on matchday with the type of SWAG that bags the WAGS. Wavering Woodward has instantaneously morphed into Wild Woodward, splashing cash on the world football transfer scene with reckless abandon. With his partner-in-crime, Dangerous Dave – we can now dismiss his Everton moniker of Dithering Dave in toe, a depraved duo has been unleashed unto the world.

Photoshop by Serge Fagelman.