The Premier League returns soon and we are looking forward to engaging in debates throughout the campaign. Some high brow, some silly and some utterly ridiculous.
One pundit we are bound to hear from every week is talkSPORT’s Gabriel Agbonlahor. Like a puppet on a string, the former Aston Villa striker satisfies his employers by talking crap about football because it generates lots of conversation.
Just last week we had his over-reaction to Andre Onana criticising Harry Maguire in a pre-season game.
Our readers will remember some of Agbonlahor’s hot takes on United from last season.
All questionable of course.
Like how he believes Bruno Fernandes, who has been recently named club captain, is a bad teammate to have in the dressing room. Agbonlahor also suggested that Casemiro should have been arrested for his harsh red card against Crystal Palace.
All in a bid for attention, Agbonlahor clearly doesn’t mind talking rubbish. It’s a blatant attempt ti rile up fans of other clubs because there’s no way he believes half of the stuff he says.
Speaking to Darren Bent on Drive (via talkSPORT), Agbonlahor picked his combined Manchester United and Aston Villa XI.
Bent said: “We’ve got a text through, it says ‘No Aston Villa player gets in United’s first XI. Fact.’ I don’t agree with that, first and foremost they don’t have a centre-forward so Ollie Watkins gets in there.”
Agbonlahor gave his verdict which – surprise, surprise – will raise a few eyebrows. Erzi Konsa over Raphael Varane, Douglas Luiz over Casemiro and Ollie Watkins over Rasmus Hojlund.
The former Villa striker said: “I think Watkins would get in anywhere before [Rasmus] Hojlund.
“Goalkeeper, Emi Martinez before Andre Onana. Martinez is the best in the world, won the World Cup. Simple.
“Centre-half, either Tyrone Mings or Ezri Konsa gets in ahead of Raphael Varane. Varane’s not great on the ball, mate.
“He’s injury prone… Varane’s injuries, he doesn’t play often, he is not the Varane that won the World Cup, is he?
“How about midfield, we’ve got Douglas Luiz, John McGinn, we are blessed.”
?
— Specsavers (@Specsavers) August 3, 2023
Following an ad-break, Agbonlahor returned with more whacky selections. He added: “Left-back, I am going Luke Shaw over Alex Moreno, who is a very good player.
“Lisandro Martinez is my left-sided centre-half. Konsa my right-sided centre-back, no Varane.
“Right-back. Aaron Wan-Bissaka. I really like him, I am not too fussed about my right-back being the best at crossing. No one gets past him.
“Midfield is quite simple for me. Casemiro, very good player, not at his best though and does not make my midfield.
“I’ve got Douglas Luiz, outstanding player, and John McGinn. In front of them, in a free role, Bruno Fernandes. He has to be there ahead of Emi Buendia.
“Marcus Rashford on the left, I think he picks himself quite easily. And then on the right, very easy, you’ve got Antony, who can’t do anything.
“So I have got Moussa Diaby. Mate, I have watched this guy and he is unbelievable. You will see this season, he is frighteningly quick, left-foot, he will get many goals and assists this season.
“And up front is quite easy, Watkins. Who you going to choose? Wout Weghorst, who’s gone back?
“Anthony Martial? Hojlund will be a good player but he is unproven in the Premier League at the moment.”
It was only a matter of time before Bent questioned Agbonlahor on some of his selections.
“No Mason Mount?” he said.
“He doesn’t even make the bench, mate,” Agbonlahor replied.
It’s quite obvious Agbonlahor’s desire is to wind up United fans with his bizarre hot takes. He is, of course, a former Aston Villa player and they’ve seen an improvement in results over the past year.
Agbonlahor’s ridiculous United-Villa selections led to a funny reaction from opticians Specsavers. It looks like they were lost for words.
Specsavers responded to a tweet from talkSPORT with a simple “?”, insinuating Agbonlahor may be due an eye test in the near future.
Get the latest Manchester United news, opinion, interviews and exclusive features with the Stretty Newsletter – Ad Free! Kick off your afternoon with the Stretty News verdict on all matters Manchester United.
He’s got the right job anyway, must be a dream come true when he can talk rubbish and get paid for it. Imagine this guy in management? With his selection he wouldn’t last a month.
The moment anyone takes Gabbys opinions on football seriously, you know you need to book yourself into to a mental facility. He’s up there as one of the most idiotic analysis of football.
One of?