I'm a builders' tea-guzzling, dad joke-cracking, poignant poetry-scribing, occasional cigar-puffing, fat pussycat-stroking, Eric Cantona-adoring, football-non compos mentis, United-Red blooded Northern ambassador, left-footed baller and spirited writer. I realise that there are a lot of hyphens in the previous sentence though I think you catch my drift.