This Old Scouse: United fan writes new Wayne Rooney poem

Manchester Evening News superbly boiled gallons of piss on Friday evening.

It was the @ManUtdMEN Twitter account, renowned for sharing Manchester United news, that uploaded a poem wrote by a fan who lets say, has little to no patience with Wayne Rooney.

Whoever it is, they’re not alone. Rooney is walking a thin line at the moment and we’ve already ran two opinion articles (will the real, angry Wayne Rooney please stand up & Wayne’s on the wane) on him today.

This old Scouse once could play football
Knew his elbow from his arse
But his career is now in free-fall
And he can’t pull of a pass
This old Scouse once raised our spirits
But he’s not just slow and stout
And he fumbles every chance he gets
So we want the bastard out

Ain’t gonna need this Scouse no longer
Ain’t gonna need this Scouse no more
Never mind the transfer window
Just shunt him out the door
Ain’t got time to find replacements
Lets just day “Tara” to Wayne
And send this old Blue Scouse back
To Everton again

This old Scouse is getting flaky
His hair is growing back
This old Scouse just gives the ball away
Whenever we attack
He’s helped us win some trophies
But he’s filling me with pain
He fluffs it when he traps the ball
He’s driving me insane

This old Scouse is lacking confidence
This old Scouse is off the pace
This old Scouse just moans to referees
And swears right in their face
This old Scouse is getting past it
England need him more than we
He only scores when a stray hit
Bounces off his big fat knee

More Stories Manchester United Wayne Rooney