Caution! This is our attempt to get the transfer market off your mind for a few minutes. If footballers were fast cars, and not only addicted to them, what car would they be?
Lionel Messi would be the Renault-Red Bull Formula 1 racing car. Simply the best, but as proven in the last Copa America, not a car you take onto a regular road in regular traffic.
Cristiano Ronaldo would be a Hummer SUV. Can run over anything but more than a touch of bad taste.
Wesley Sneijder would be a SAAB. Probably the best luxury car you can buy. Without an ounce of glamour or sex appeal.
Samuel Eto’o would be Lexus. As good as any other luxury vehicle, but nobody seems to give it respect.
Wayne Rooney would be a NASCAR car. Not the epitome of class and technique, but those who are into it will not replace it for anything else in the world.
Andres Iniesta would be a Rolls Royce. Unrivaled in class and perfection. Used mainly by the aristocrats for in-city travel.
Carlos Tevez would be Mercedes. A leased Mercedes.
Xavi Hernandez would be a modern European or Japanese super-fast train. A much faster, better and comfortable way to travel than all the above.
Diego Forlan would be a classic Ford Mustang. Like in the days when a car was a car.
Finally Neymar would be a Hybrid. Because so far we have only heared how good they are.
By Ronen Dorfan